Nostalgia

Nostalgia is such an odd feeling. It's a bizarre combination of happiness that brings you to tears.. and leaves you feeling so empty that you will never know that exact feeling again. I have been feeling this way as my days in State College wind down.

Towards the end of my last semester I was too busy to notice that I might miss the place I have been living in for 4 years. And I didn't notice until it happened.... that I might grow out of the place too. Yes, we are known for our alumni here, that's for sure. But I slowly went from student, to alumni that wanted to stick around until she got her life together, to... why am I still here?

There are three things I will miss about State College. And you may be surprised the hear what they are.
1. Class. I love going to class. Oh yes, I said it. I love waking up in the morning, drinking my coffee and scampering off to class. Even if it was a mile walk to get there I loved every moment. Even if there was a blizzard and three feet of snow to get through (because State College is so not phased by snow that it never closes for anything. Even if the abominable snowman suddenly arose and started picking off students... I am convinced it would just put up a few warning fliers and continue class as scheduled). I love class so much that I hate things that get in the way of class. I love information so much that there are few things important enough to get in the way of it. This might mean my student life is not yet over and graduate school is not far in the future. But we will see..
2. Food. No secret to those who know me, I adore food. Eating food, trying food, remembering my favorite places to get food, pushing foods on other people, cooking food, trying to cook food I've eaten in restaurants. It's a good place for food up here. There's so many restaurants in such a small amount of space.. and dare I say it.. I may have been to every single one here.
3. Putting off adulthood. When you're in college everyone tells you to start acting like an adult.. but you have the option of just waving it away and telling it to remind you later. Like hitting the snooze button on your alarm. But once you're done.. no one feels bad for you anymore when you don't understand what you're paying for.. how you're paying for it.. why you don't have the money right now. It's like a magic button gets switched from patience/sympathy to you've had your chance/impatience/just figure it out already. Being 20 something is this phenomena that forces you to behave like you are a capable person that knows what they're doing... while everyone treats you as though you are not capable of very much. You're just a kid... unless it means you owe someone money.

And of course... while there are many things I will miss about this town.. there are a few things I will not miss as well.
1. Some drunk idiot breaking the window in my hallway every weekend. Okay we get it. Your parents never let you stay out passed 8 pm and you have never seen alcohol before and there weren't many people trying to stop you from guzzling it down like you would water in a hot dessert.... but stop breaking my window.. stop throwing beer cans in the stairs.. stop peeing in the elevator... on the carpet... stop throwing up on the sidewalk... get a freaking grip on your life. Yes I may sound 80 years old... but I really just have very little sympathy for freshmen that trust anyone who says "Here drink this."
2. Football. I'm sorry. I don't care about football. I know. It makes me a bad Penn Stater. I just don't care. Esspecially when people flood the town and I can't even buy a sandwich without waiting an hour in line. Which goes back to my love of food.
3. People who talk in class. Don't mess with my food. Don't mess with my class. And who are your parents that you think you can talk in class when you're 18..19..20... and so on... years old??? I think that the generation below mine is getting younger and younger....

And that is all for now. Bon Voyage Happy Valley. And as a tribute to my experience at Penn State.. I plan on writing an entry on the foods of Happy Valley sometime in the near future (pending unemployment that is...). It's only fair to dedicate a post to what I loved most... about this town.

Unemployed and unimpressed

Well I've decided I should be able to blog about this job hunt process. There's humor to be had every step of the way. Like this morning.. I was casuually invited to enlist in the army. Apparently my qualifications make me a good candidate. And yesterday I was asked to interview for a life insurance sales position. Just what I've always envisioned for myself... I really envy our parents right now. They at least graduated In a time when their degree could be affirmed and their hard work somewhat rewarded. Right now I wonder why I went to college when the only positions that will give me the time of day are high school diploma level. So it looks like I'm gonna have to get a little wild and find clever ways to get noticed. Wear my resume as a shirt? Bake a cake with my resume on it and serve it at any and every social gathering? Throw a rock at someones head on t
he street and when they turn around angrily say "oh I'm sorry you looked a lot like someone that could get me a job" and then wait for their reaction. The options are endless..

Deja Vu

This is a familiar feeling. I should be writing a paper but I am warming up my words by blogging.

Speaking of familiar feelings, I just realized, thanks to a convo with my Mom, that bullies never really grow up. They just get bigger and more personal.

If you're lucky enough though, they'll get pregnant at a young age or go to jail once or twice and you'll read about them in the paper just before you graduate from college.... and think yourself... whatever you said to me in first grade just isn't true now is it?

But sometimes bullies do just as well as you do amid your hard work... and sometimes you even have to work alongside them to achieve something that you have for so long been extremely passionate about. I told my mom I wanted to get to the point where it didn't ruin my day if someone yelled at me for something I didn't deserve and she said "That's what I want to be when I grow up to." Great. I guess some things never really change at all. You think when you leave high school you'll never have to worry about a bully ever again and that's your first mistake. Your second mistake is letting them piss you off.

Good words

"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

Conan O'Brien

Woaaaa how bad am I at New Year's resolutions??

Pretty bad.

Remember that time I said I would write every day? I haven't.

So far my new semester is going pretty well, but I don't want to curse myself by bringing the universe's attention to the fact that things are going well in my life. I got a new coat for the first time in 6 years. Not as bad as it sounds- it turns out that my other coat was on the durable side and is still wearable despite its age. Fascinating, right? And you wonder why I haven't written.

I have come to one conclusion this week. I love the elderly. They are, without a doubt, the most awesome people in humanity. I guess this is how most normal girls feel when they see a baby. To me, when I see one of the residents roll up in their wheel chair with this huge smile on their face just because they know I came in for the day to be their best friend and make them smile.... there is no competition.

Well anyway, I am sure, realistically, that this attitude will slightly alter as the semester goes on. I am sure that I will run into my own road blocks with certain residents because that's just the way life works. So far I haven't freaked out that I am slowly transitioning from college student to real person. Except the other night I started freaking out because I accidentally ruined a nice pair of pants I bought for work with an iron on hem disaster. Luckily Dave was there to pick up the pieces. Sighhhhhhhhhhh. I guess we all know it wasn't really about the pants. It never really is about the pants.

That's all for now..

tea tea why L

Pennslyvania in the Winter

I always forget that I hate winter. And winter forgets it hates me. I swear I can hear it shudder and groan when I step outside. I almost don't hear it because I am too busy squawking out my disapproval of how cold it is. It's one of those things that never stops surprising me. I think about winter in the summertime and it makes me laugh. How silly that such a cold season could exist. In the heat of July it's hard to believe that such a month as January could really ever greet us. It won't stop snowing. It's been snowing since last Thursday nonstop. At some points it has been flurries, yes, but it still hasn't stopped. I know this is nothing compared to the way New England must feel. But hey, don't they get snow in like May? They' re used to this.

I tried to find a way to love you, winter. I even went sledding. But the ice chunks that flew into my eyes the whole way down made it harder for me to stay positive. I don't think I like being cold and wet- there's just no way around it.

Does anyone really like winter though? I have never heard anyone say, boy I just love wintertime. Sure it's pretty. But if that's all you like about it you can google image wintertime and be just as happy. Just sayin.

Shopping adventures

I have always wanted a particular style of moccosin like shoes that are broth comfortable yet business casual. I finally found said shoes but alas they were $4.99 with a hole in the front. Alhough they were not beyond what I am willing to fix.. It did go beyond what I am willing to pay for and fix. So I bargained with the cashier and she had a word with her manager and .... Rightly so.... I got the shoes for just $1.00. I am the only one I know who would be so excited about such a bargain.

This also reminded me of the time I bargained my way down at the Florence leather market from 200 euros to 60. Huge. Needless to say the man pretty much hated me by the end of
that bargain because I was quite literally taking this money from his very own pocket. The woman from the shoe
phenomonon rang me up with a smile because we both knew the
money was coming out of the pocket of some wealhy chain store owner. God bless
Corporate america. They don't try to convince me that I'm getting a good deal when I'm not.... they apolzogize and knock off 5 bucks.

And that is how it's done

How to kick over a snowman

So this is the new year? Well I have no resolution.

Hello 2010.

I think I have one New Year's Resolution. And that is to write on my blog every single day. Yes, I know only my immediate family members really read it at this point and I am okay with that. And besides... has anyone really ever started a blog...for other people? Post Secret claims to have done this and for a very noble cause I might add...(suicide prevention). But otherwise a blog is really for you, right?

I realized the other day that I used to journal every single night before bed and then I suddenly stopped. I always used to do it because I hoped that my children one day would read it and feel like they could relate to some strange part of growing up that me, in my adulthood, would have long forgotten about. I realized that it was more fun for me to journal to other people- recalling that I would have fun writing my friends and family long letters. I think that blogging can be a nice updated, public, form of what I once enjoyed.

I watched Julie and Julia last night and I liked the idea of coming up with some sort of blogging commitment... but what would it be? I can't do cooking because it has been done. It has been suggested that I start a "Poop Secrets" blog. But I would need to get people to send it in. So on that note... If you have a hilarious/humiliating poop story... please submit it to ekz5000@psu.edu!! Also know you are forfeiting any rights to the presentation of your poop secret... but not your identity. Ready..GO.

Tune in tomorrow for a video demonstration of "How to Knock over a Snowman"- a video never before seen by the public.

Happy 2010.

The Next Journey

I have never been anything other than a student. So I don't really know what I am going to do when I don't get ahead by studying every night. How does one become successful at a career? Or at life? I have never really had to worry about it until now.

I guess the first step would be to buy a good pair of business casual shoes. I'd like to say that shoes are the cause of, and solution to, all of my life's problems. And just as with life, it's hard to pick the problems (shoes that look good but hurt your feet) from the solutions (shoes that look good and are comfortable) sometimes.

But yeah shoes are the way to go.

I am really nervous excited to start my internship. What if I am really bad at what I've devoted the last 3.5 years of school to be able to do? What if I don't really want to help anyone or do anything creative after all.. what if I am just lazy by nature and I don't know it yet. Well I could go on like this for a while but I don't think I will.

I guess all I can do is baaaLEEEVVVV! I think I can only go up from here.